"This is the violet hour, the hour of hush and wonder, when the affectations glow and valor is reborn, when the shadows deepen along the edge of the forest and we believe that, if we watch carefully, at any moment we may see the unicorn."


Friday, May 14, 2010

I Know Where I'm Going? And I Know Where I've Been..

A Portrait of Me - at Six Years Old


Dear KJ posed three thought-provoking questions on her blog today and I decided to answer them here.


1. What was your childhood?
I had a good childhood - an only child, and yes, spoiled. My parents had a strong marriage - a first and only marriage for them. I was well educated - my Father taught me to read before I started school - and my love of books has never left me. He was an Air Force Pilot, then retired and became a small Antique Shop owner. Mum was a Flight Attendant. The downside to my early life..... I was alone a lot. My Father working, my Mum away for days on trips. I did have someone to bring me home from school - not a "nanny" - we were comfortable - not wealthy.... Being alone so much, I developed my own language, read a lot, and lived "inside my mind".... you can guess that I had a
vivid imagination. So much so, that the Nuns once called my Mum in to let her know they were concerned about my "grasp on reality". (She told them - politely - to "get stuffed" - there was nothing wrong with me.)



2. What did you want people to understand about you?
That I was more than just a "pretty face".... I had a brain, was intelligent - had opinions that were relevant. I was funny, had a good (if a bit dry) sense of humour. I was not "stuck up", just shy.



3. Who was on your bus?
My parents - first and foremost. My pets. Animals in general.... I seemed to form a bond with them at a young age. Nature. Father Andrew D. - a priest I knew since I was able to formulate thoughts and with whom I was able to have long (sometimes argumentative) conversations with about God, Religion, Mankind. He always "heard" me and made time for me. "King Arthur" - yes, I was absorbed in anything relating to him....poetry, literature, music. The author E.R. Eddison - a man who rivaled Tolkien in his "Zimiavian World" - four astonishingly beautiful books that affected my life at 15 - and
still do today when I reread them. Music.....often a friend to me when I was by myself.


It's been a good ride - mostly a smooth road - a few bumps here and there....until last year, when the bus crashed into a boulder and fell over the cliff. But, I am standing up, though bruised and cut....and I am walking down the road again, looking up at the lilac twilight sky - and seeing that first sparkling star next to the silver crescent moon. There is life...there is hope and somewhere out there...there is love.

♥ Robin ♥

22 comments:

  1. oh dear what a beautiful post robin. you are such a lovely writer, it reads almost like poetry. is this a portrait of you too?
    have a wonderful weekend.
    ♥ lori

    you were in a bus accident? i hope you are fine now?

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  2. I like hearing you sound hopeful :-). You had a blessed childhood. I, as you know did not, but I feel blessed now :-). It is all good in the end. And as for the bus, it crashed, but I think one day you will see that it saved you from far worse. xoxo

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  3. oooh, I like Annie's last line.

    You do write beautifully Robin. That portrait is really well done, wow. Such a cutie (with a brain) :)
    I was a very neglected child so I was alone a lot as well. Thank God for vivid imaginations though. That's what helped me survive!

    I think you've come a long way since that 'crash.' You're a true lover of life and possibilities. That's a very good thing.♥

    love,
    Lo xo

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  4. P.S. I have never seen a photo of you young!
    Lovely portrait! xoxo

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  5. Beautiful. Reading through a few tears, and it's beautiful. xo

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  6. Hi Robin! Your parents sound like lovely people. :) As for bus crashes and getting clunked on the head in life, well, I believe you are stronger from surviving that crash. And I know there are good things ahead in life for you, love included.

    I have had a few bus crashes of my own. Now I make sure I have my 'mental seatbelt' on at all times! :) I love the painting of you. I think we would have been good friends. I was shy, and had a vivid imagination, too. xox!! Pam

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  7. not somewhere out there,

    but somewhere in there.

    hahaha to pam's mental seatbelt. what a grand idea! that girl is so clever!

    robin, about that lilac twilight sky: do you see me? and those other stars sharing and guiding the way? here we are again!!!!

    each day, that heart of yours heals. this blog, your words, this very lovely post is evidence of that. i don't mean to be sappy. i just know you are going to be okay because you already are.

    love
    kj

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  8. Lori, thank you so much for your sweet words! They mean a lot! As for the "bus accident",
    I was speaking metaphorically... in 2009, I lost both my job and my man in the space of 5 days. (15 years with the company, 16 years with the man.) But it was a true "crash" for both heart and head - especially heart....

    I am doing better.... writing this blog helps (as Renee said it would...).

    Love,

    ♥ Robin ♥

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  9. Gosh, Anne, I guess we never did share childhood photos etc.... we were young and so involved with our present, we didn't care much about our past.....now, life is different....

    I'm pleased you liked my portrait...

    Love,

    ♥ Robin ♥

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  10. Ah, Lo, I know that though our childhoods were different in a lot of ways, we were (and are) very similiar.... and yes, God blessed us when he gave us those imaginations! The power of the mind is wonderful. I think it is the overall link of strength we share in our "Blogging Family"!

    Love,

    ♥ Robin ♥

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  11. "T & D",

    I'm so glad you visited here.... I hope you appreciated the post title! I thought of you when I used it...

    Love,

    ♥ Robin ♥

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  12. Pam - "mental seatbelt".....that is perfect! I definitely did not wear one before....(but then, I never felt the need to..) An older and (hopefully) wiser woman now....who will always "buckle up". I had the feeling you were a shy girl too....and one who lived a lot inside her imagination. It shows in all of your magical creations!

    Many hugs and love,

    ♥ Robin ♥

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  13. "KJ", you are wise and right..... we BOTH ARE healing - and as Pam said, will remember to use our "mental seatbelts" from now on.

    You - sappy? A-ha-ha! (You are sweet, like honey - with a kick of chili pepper - the perfect combination!)

    Love, Love,

    ♥ Robin ♥

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  14. Dear robin,
    What a beautiful portrait and post!
    I am so happy getting to know you!
    I have a lot of catching up to do and for some reason your posts always stay at the bottom of my blog list (I don't like that...)
    I will go to bed now , we have to get up early . My son goes to London tomorrow and has to be at school at 7.
    I will come back soon and read the rest I have missed during my holiday....
    You take care courageous woman :)
    ♥♥♥

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  15. Marianne, wie schone Du hast meinen Blog besucht! Besonders wie Du so beschaftigt bist!

    Ja, ja...KJ und Lo have auch gesagt das mein Blog liegt unter alles die anderen... typisch!
    A-ha-ha!

    Noch weider muss I sagen wie viel Ich have Dich vermisst!

    Immer mit Liebe und ein Kuss fur Sjimmie!

    ♥ Robin ♥

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  16. what a lovely post, and it helps me get to know you even better. love all the comments too. you have made some wonderful friends in the bloggy world. on the subject of losing your guy, you would've lost him anyway , just further down the line, that i firmly do believe. but you need to grieve both for that loss and the loss of your job.
    isn't it amazing how we all know how to console each other, but often can't console ourselves.
    that is german you are writing to marianne, i understand it all.

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  17. even in that beautiful portrait you are not just a pretty face... or a little angel... the way you are looking... your smile... both denote you were a deep thinker... seeing things... knowing things others were not fully aware of... the way you look invites us to look deep into things... you had and still have a very intelligent and determined character...

    really enjoyed reading about you and your unique and beautiful soul...


    love and peace

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  18. You were adorable!! you can see the security and love shining from your eyes in that 6year old portrait.

    Yes...the bus crash...many of us have had a few in our lives, and have to give ourselves time to get thru it. and then move on.
    Be well, Mim

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  19. Joss, du kannst Deutsch sprechen? Wunderbar!
    I know you speak Dutch as I see you and Marianne chat away in it.

    You are right regarding "C" (my ex)...still, as he was the REAL LOVE of my life it is hard to overcome...it is harder to deal with then the loss of the job.....but having the combination - particularly in this day and age is really tough.

    But, having met all you wonderful people in the "Blog World" truly has helped me. Renee was RIGHT..... (like usual).

    Love you, Joss!

    ♥ Robin ♥

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  20. HB, such wise words.... you see the world clearly and deeply... and.....you have the same dark humour that I do! A year ago, I never would have dared write about myself, my family , my "ex".... but now, having met this wonderful Blogging Community, I find myself being able to let go.... and it has really helped me during a dark time.

    Love and Peace back to you, fellow Crow Lover!

    ♥ Robin ♥

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  21. Mim, thank you for your words....and having "met" my new Blogging Friends, I do realise that many have had a "bus crash" or two...yes, we have to get up and move on.

    It's hard...but, it is possible....and I am going to give it my best try!

    Love,

    ♥ Robin ♥

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  22. Gorgeous portrait of the little you. What a treasure. "I Know Where I'm Going" is one of my favorite films, btw.

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