"This is the violet hour, the hour of hush and wonder, when the affectations glow and valor is reborn, when the shadows deepen along the edge of the forest and we believe that, if we watch carefully, at any moment we may see the unicorn."


Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Pendulums..




Yesterday was a very emotional day for me . My Ex rang and for the first time in many months, we had a long conversation. It felt good to hear his voice and to really talk......but is also felt unsettling. I was reminded of pendulums..... swinging back and forth...a reminder of things past and things future....yet the actual swinging of the pendulum is the Present.
It is the beginning of a new Season, my favourite, Autumn....and after a months-long Spring and Summer of eternal cold and grayness - in every way imaginable, perhaps "C's" call was the subtle swinging of the Pendulum towards a better future for me. He and I will not be a couple again...but, being able to talk and even laugh together is a positive move. We shared 17 years.....and though we have been apart 18 months, there is a lot of history - most of it good - one cannot erase that.
I have learned to "stand alone", live alone and function as an independant woman.... something I never did before in my life. I have said before, but it merits repeating, that I could not have done it without YOU....my "Blogging" Family.... you have been there for me, helping me all the way.
So, off I go to another "Aida" rehearsal this afternoon.... I am glad I will have something to keep my mind from wandering and re-living yesterday's conversation... it is already a Pendulum swing in the Past.....and I am moving forward to the Future - a stronger and hopefully, happier person.
Love,
♥ Robin ♥

13 comments:

  1. Oh Robin!
    If I ever admire anyone for its positiveness it would be you!
    That is why I have such a strong believe in you!
    You are one STRONG lady dear!
    Just keep this pendulum in your mind swinging towards a bright and happy future dear!

    LOVE
    ♥♥♥
    >M<

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  2. Oh Robin, it can be so hard to balance hanging on to the good parts of the past whilst letting go of the not-so-good parts. It takes a strong woman to do this. I know so little about you and yet it is SO apparent that you are strong. I am glad that blogging is bringing good people into your life. Certainly I'm so delighted to be here myself! xx Jos

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  3. Robin, you definitely sounds strong here, I echo the others. What a shock, yet you are standing firm, we will not be a couple again. Yet too you let yourself enjoy being with him again reminiscing about the past and all the times you spent together. Those are the good memories. He and you shared a lot of experiences together. But now! Forward into the new.......

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  4. Hi Robin! I am proud of you. It is not easy to hear someone's voice, after so many months. You sound very strong, and independent - and I say HUZZAH!!!!!!, my friend. :) Better days are ahead for you, and brand new adventures with people you have not yet met. This I know to be true, from my own life. You hang tough, sista. xoxox! Pam

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  5. Robin dear, You are a good and strong woman and it's been an honor to know you and watch you grow strong and heading towards happiness - we're all proud of you and Renee would be laughing out loud with joy! (perhaps she is).

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  6. Well, little sista, you know how I feel.
    Of course you'll never erase the good times, but I'm with the rest of the gals when we say "Hurray!" for you moving forward as a stronger, independant woman.
    I'm always a phonecall away, but even better, we'll get to hug and seal the sisterhood in October!!!

    I'm off to my ultrasound and bloodwork...I'll call later.

    I'm so proud of you!!

    xoxo
    Love,
    Lo♥

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  7. You do sound like a strong woman, but I also hear the sadness of loss in the background. Not an easy thing, as you embark on passing through this new door in your life...I know that every new door like this that I passed though just had better and better things in life to offer me. So keep going forward, you'll reap the benefits soon enough. Glad you have music to brighten your days.

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  8. I admire your courage, Robin. Yes, I feel the pendulum is swinging toward a strong and happy new life. You know, the pendulum is always moving, even though we wish it would stand still. Peace to you my friend. Enjoy Aida! xx

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  9. robin - after reading this post you sound so strong and resilient, i salute your attitude!! it can't be easy hearing from your ex, but you seem to know where you need to be headed and that comes from following your own internal compass. love and hugs my friend and hope you're enjoying aida!! your pendulum swings in the direction of hope, love and strength!!! xoxo

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  10. <3 <3 <3 Soo proud of *You* <3 <3 <3

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  11. It's good that you can look back on a 17 year long experience with such positivity. I think it shows that you have accepted that it's in the past now and a memory to cherish. It's also good that you can talk and laugh. It means that mentally you are moving on- maybe in moments not quite there yet but in others you are looking to a new future.

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  12. manohmanohmanohman, do i love reading this!

    and may i inform you that that pendulum is swinging itself right into western massachusetts, where your sisterhood will hug, tickle and delight you in every way and at every turn!

    together strong indeed. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  13. All, KJ said it perfectly - "Together Strong"!
    I really could not be where I am now emotionally without "meeting" and interacting with all of you. Dear Renee was right.....she said blogging would help me....and it has.
    I am still stuggling with my emotions over "C" - especially as we have begun to talk...but I AM (truly) a changed woman and stronger....

    I love you all.

    ♥ Robin ♥

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