"This is the violet hour, the hour of hush and wonder, when the affectations glow and valor is reborn, when the shadows deepen along the edge of the forest and we believe that, if we watch carefully, at any moment we may see the unicorn."


Saturday, May 8, 2010

My Beautiful Mother


Most of you know that my beloved Mother died twenty six years ago last month. I was her only child. She adored me - and I loved her so. She was quite young when she died - and I have now spent more years without her than with her. At first, I thought I would not post about Mother's Day....it has been a sad day for me for many years... but, after some thought, I opted to do one. I know this would please her. She was a small town girl from Ohio, who married my more cosmopolitan Father (an Air Force Pilot) and moved to San Francisco. She LOVED to travel - and was a flight attendant for many years. (When she worked - for Pan Am - Flight Attendants were "glamorous" and stayed two or three days in every city they flew to. ) She flew around the world and visited every continent - but Antartica. And if she had lived longer, I know she would have landed there too!
I miss her so - but feel close to her still. I know she watches over me (as does my Father, dead now for seventeen years).
My own life has recently gone through an upheaval - in every sense of the word - and when I went to find a photo of her that my Father and I were not in, I couldn't find one. So, I chose this - one of her many, many, passport photos.
I know she would love this... showing her vibrant smile, her beautiful eyes.
I think of you Mummy, every day.... and I miss you. Miss our travel together....miss your advice, your support - even your scolding. You made me who I am today.... and I will never forget it.
Love, your Daughter,
Robin

13 comments:

  1. This is a beautiful post and your mum like mine is a beautiful woman with a wonderful smile. I am so glad you did this as I was going to suggest it, I bet it felt better than not. Sending you love and hugs this weekend ♥ xoxo

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  2. so sad a story and so beautiful. thank you for sharing your mom with us. Mother's day can be a sad day for so many reasons. I was conducting a writing workshop once and we came up with the writing topic of "mother's day." The stories varied from sad to happy but one woman broke down crying re: her story of how her mom had rejected her.

    Hard to believe this is a passport photo!!! Your mom looks so beautiful and lively. Big hugs to you Robin. Love, Suki

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  3. ps the embossment or stamp behind her head looks like a halo!

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  4. what a beauty she was. wish i could have loved my mom and she me like you did. my mom died 29 years ago and my dad 28 years ago, and i don't miss her one bit as she abused me.but i overcame her and became a good mom because of her. your mom is with you sweetie pie every minute and she wishes she could be with you. lotsa hugs from me to you.

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  5. Dear Anne,
    Thank you for your comment....it's hard to believe that we have known each other for so many years - and yet, you never knew my Mum...

    You would have loved her....

    Hugs,

    ♥ Robin ♥

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  6. Suki, meeting you has been one of the highlights of my 2010 life. I mean it!
    I know you would have enjoyed knowing my Mum...you share many of her traits - a huge, loving heart, a love of art, of history, of nature. She came from a big, Catholic, Croatian family of eight children....she was second to the the youngest - yet, in spite of being the only sibling to leave Ohio and move West, she was the conduit that held everyone together... she had that gift...

    I know that Aaron adores you.... you are a wonderful Mum - and, you were a loving daughter to your Mum.

    Sending you love and joy,

    ♥ Robin ♥

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  7. Joss, when I think about how cruel your Mum was to you, it really breaks my heart. The world and life can be so unfair.... I learned this last year....

    But, you were (and are) strong and fierce enough to get past a sad childhood....and look at you! A loving, supportive husband, a beautiful child and granddaughter - an amazing artist... you give me strength and courage to try and get on with my life!

    Meeting you, like our Sukipoet, has enriched my life so much.... my Mum knows about you all - and is happy I have found such wonderful friends.

    Love to you, on this special day!

    ♥ Robin ♥

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  8. Such a beautiful post Robin. I wish we could magically have them back. I miss mine too. I almost scanned her wedding photo and did a post yesterday but I didn't because of my sisters. (We had a hard, hard life.) My mother loved us but she wasn't there for us. She could barely be there for herself. I think she did the best she knew how. I'm actually writing a book about her although I've out it away for more than a year now. It's too hard to write. The paper keeps getting wet!

    Big hugs to you (((♥)))
    love,
    Lo

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  9. P.S. The new header is magically haunting!
    xo

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  10. e mail me: jossross@yahoo.com
    i'm 'here' for you sweetie pie (I'll be your new mom)

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  11. Lo, your comment brought tears to me eyes... and I have ALWAYS cried easily - be it from joy or sadness. I know that your Mum did do her best for you and your sisters..... just look at YOU! Beautiful, talented - in so many fields - with a big heart full of love. I am so sorry you grew up in a difficult life...but, undergoing those struggles and overcoming those hardships helped to make you who you are today: the wonderful, much-loved by all, LO! I look at your Robin painting every morning.... it has helped keep my spirits up during the past month... just as knowing you has!

    Thank you for the comment on my header... I am slowly starting to "experiment" with my camera.. I ended up using this shot as I liked the "other-worldly" effect...

    Sending you and your "Furry Ones" love,

    ♥ Robin ♥

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  12. Joss.... you are WONDERFUL! This means a lot.

    Love,

    ♥ Robin ♥

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  13. oh robin, it is not right that i have not commented until now. i am sorry for my delay.

    this is hauntingly beautiful. your Mother's smile--on her passport no less--is infectious. it is so clear how much you love her. she is a Senior Angel too, yes?

    damn, i need to find a way to get you on my bloggy list correctly. i don't know when you post and i don't like being late like this.

    you are in my thoughts far more reliably than in my bloggy list.

    i love you, robin!

    kj

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